The Leadership Behavior
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Emotional Intelligence Feelings matter at work comment box, and encouraged an open-door policy. He even provides incentives for the mostinsightful critiques, such as the chance to attend a course or conference of interest, extra time off, public recognition, etc. And he meets one-on-one with his direct reports frequently.
The regular feedback from these sources has helped him hone his skills. The bonus: He’s found that those who report to him are more engaged and respect him more.
If you don’t feel comfortable enlisting the feedback of your entire team, you can also ask a trusted direct report to gather feedback within the organization about whether you (the leader) consistently demonstrate civility; and what situations may trigger uncivil behavior.
Work with a coach. Coaches can uncover potential weaknesses through surveying and interviewing
those with whom you work, and may shadow you at meetings and events to pick up on subtleties
including non-verbal behavior. A skilled coach may unearth some of the underlying assumptions,
experiences, and personal qualities that make one prone to uncivil behavior.
Ask, specifically, how you can improve. Once you have clarity on which behaviors you want to
improve (first), gather information from others about how best to go about this. This “feedforward”
method, originated by author Marshall Goldsmith, is a terrific way to gather specific ideas for
improving your behavior.
The process:
1. Describe your goal clearly and simply to anyone you know.
2. Ask for two suggestions. Encourage creative ideas.
3. Listen carefully. Write the suggestions down.
4. Respond with “thank you.” Nothing more. No excuses or defensiveness.
5. Repeat by asking additional people.
